Work Week

So.. there goes my first week of work. I have so much to rant about, I wanted to blog about it earlier but I was so caught up in editing my other documents that I totally lost track of time and I'm feeling rather spent typing this. And hungry.

My work is alright thus far, I hate the usual asking-people-for-help-continously-and-being-annoying and making-stupid-mistakes shit, but I know its inevitable and part of the learning process. My in-charge and my colleagues are very nice to me, and are very approachable and willing to teach. I am grateful and yet a bit guilty for always imposing on them.

I saw Aisha on my second day of work and it turns out that she works in a different department from me! She was really nice, still remembering me and bothering to say hi, and even invited me to have lunch with her colleagues. I went for lunch with them the rest of the week and they are really a funny and nice bunch to hang out with. I think im the youngest(?) one in my current department so its nice to hang out with the younger staff for a change.

Bad thing is that I keep going to the toilet!!! Something about working makes me feel so thirsty all the time so I am always seen making trips to the loo. Its like I HAVE to go once per hour. So it's like 8 times a day... why liddis!!!!

Has only been 5 days and the amount of embarrassing shit that happened to me is enough to cover half of 2014 at least.. lol, from being stuck in the stairs and waving to the wrong people.. sigh pie

I'm really busy the whole week though.. trying to get the work life balance shit. as much I love to come home and just crash on my bed, I can't. I wanna ensure I get enough time with everyone else as well! So make changes and be tired I shall!~

Anyway, came back from a career fair today. I really didn't know talking was so exhausting. 2 full hours of talking non-stop, my throat was super dry and painful at the end of the event.

Cheryl and Reb was very supportive and immediately agreed to accompany me when I asked them though they totally didn't have to. But dear Cheryl fell sick and wasn't able to attend, I hope she recovers soon. Anw I had an awesome lunch with reb albeit the short meet up.

I'm just very grateful to have these friends which are just so helpful and sincere in every way. I don't think friends like these come by often anymore. 

okay abrupt end sleepy... night

Feelings

This is what I think about Time. Time is water.

You add Feelings in your heart and you flush them with time. Time dilutes feelings day by day, and for a long time, your heart don't seem to feel them anymore.

But the feeling remains. One day, something triggers that emotion back. It's drains all the time away. The sudden awareness of these feelings makes you feel that they are back, stronger.

But feelings always stay the same. It's the sudden drain of time that makes you feel that way.

A feeling never goes away. It will never go away; it can only be diluted. The feeling only 'comes back' when you will time to stop.

Post Exams

Exams are officially over today. Of course, I'm hoping that this will be my last. Feels a little liberating, but yet afraid at the same time knowing that from here on, I have to slowly build the path I want to take.

I've made plans, and wrote a list of stuff I wanna do after exams. I'm treating it as a special period where I get to do whatever the fuck I want before I am officially labelled a Young Working Adult. (I'm always young in my mind yo) 

I'm going to be busy. Maybe pick up a skill, reinvent myself.. who knows. The one lesson I've learnt while being in a 9-5 routine is that time is always running out, and contant repetition makes everything a blur. It's so easy to go with the flow, than to question your actions and objectives.

 It seems that when you get older, the more you can't afford to ask why. 

'Things just are...' They'll say.

I hear you. Do you hear yourself?

Time

Time. I am always very interested and marveled by the concept of Time. It exists everywhere, all the time. But the relativity of it is different according to different people, things, situations.

A minute can be perceived differently; a droning 60 seconds during a mundane lesson, or a critical moment during a life and death situation. Isn't it so interesting when the concept of time changes according to one's emotions or perception of situation?

I love talking about it with my sisters, discussing it, watching related movies (Back to the future etc). During my internship where i had spare capacity I googled about it - Grandfather/Time Paradoxes, how to go back in time, relativity of time - All the quantum physics stuff. I love to read about it but unfortunately I am definitely not an expert on it.

Time slips by, and every second is never the same as the next. Everyone knows that we have to cherish what we have lah blah blah but how many people actually LOOK and REALISE how apparent it is around us everyday? Looking at a very critical POV would shock you and make you in awe at the same time.

In a very broad perspective, no one ever realises the change Time brings to us until we look at it retrospectively in our lives.

Time is something given and we have to accept. I feel that it is the ultimate commodity. To ourselves at least. (Etc 'Are you willing to do XXXX in exchange of XXX years/months of your time?)

I think the most amazing thing about it is that you never know when your Time ends. It feels infinite in your youth, ending in your old age. Time gives you restriction yet freedom within. Wow.

I asked myself today 'What do you want to do for the rest of your life?'

I'm not sure, but I know that I'd rather spend my time thinking about it and doing it right than to waste my life doing something stupid.

What have i been doing

Series of pictures updating you guys on what I have been doing lately. These pictures are all taken from Instagram but well, i will add in a few more words lol

Taken @ Bicky's last night in SG. We went to have supper at Jalan Kayu together. I miss her already, wonder how is she now though. I can't post photos on facebook to update her because i don't know if she knows how to access it from there..Jojo seems sad at night especially though..

Found this meaningful quote from a magazine page. I was at Niks with LW and we waited for bloody 5 hours for our turn! Thank god DJ and Richard took us home. We ended at 1am please.

Don't you think this quote makes a damn lot of sense? Sometimes people would just choose personality over character, i cant say that i wasn't one of them.. 

My new sweater i brought from Primark! Super chio and i love it! It was around 30 SGD my most expensive apparel i bought from UK. Bought it because i haven't seen it in SG and their sweaters are super chic! I LOVE PRIMARK the stuff they sell cheaper than singapore and a lot more variety and designs! 3 storeys please. BRING ME BACK THEREEEEEEEEE

Photo taken with Jolyn during a chinese dinner. She's my cousin and she's only 12! She looks like 14 to me though.. children these days grow so fast..

My first teachers' day present! It's my first time tutoring so of course im super happy to receive one and i didn't even expected it! These 2 monsters are sometimes quite lovable. I said sometimes... lol. I teach P4 and P5 English btw. It's at Punggol and its just a 10 minute walk! Super convenient!

Bought nail polish for 2 freaking pounds at Primark so im trying them out. It actually looks better on the picture. I don't think i did a good job painting them. I love the coral green though. Always wanted to try a new colour so im super happy.

CANDY NAILS! The nail polish came in a set with 4 colours. I was deciding which to use and i just decided to heck it and use all of them. I kept staring at them though, not weird meh the colour?! Again it looked better in picture. And it's chipping off already with the bloody housework i do ALL DAY.

Taking the dogs for a walk. Because i own 3 dogs i have to go 2 trips! So it adds up into 6 trips per day? My mom brings one per trip so she has to go for 3! Luckily we take turns so we wont be so tired. Anyway when i bring the dogs down i don't bring my phone, just the keys and newspaper to clean their poo, and i was freaking lazy to take the keys cos i have no pockets. Plus the newspaper would be used up so my hand is empty, so i dont wanna hold the damn keys jiu dui liao. Good idea right.

Okay abrupt end lol. Pictures taken in UK & France shall be up when i get the pictures. I should start studying soon which means a hiatus is coming. Sob right. I know, i'll miss me too.

Healthier Lifestyle

After a very severe procrastination (used to be unable to wake up in the morning to jog for THREE weeks in a row), I FINALLY went for a jogging session. The last time I probably ran was for my NAPFA test during senior year at Temasek Polytechnic. I passed the timing but my stamina sucks. Can't run non-stop, and I will start to walk (fast) if I get stitches.

Anyway I managed to run for 3km yesterday. Sadly I didn't run for ALL 3km. Walked a bit, ran for a bit. I perspired so much that it started dripping from my face. I haven't felt so healthy for a long time. Prolly will get my sisters to play badminton with me next week.

I realised that I am REALLY not a healthy person. From my eating to sleeping habits, I am a total fail. So I'm trying to get a bit of healthy back into my life. I'm only 21, need to start developing healthy habits.

Oh shit hell I just ate a full Mcdonald meal. Wow, I am really determined. Hahaha

Anyway I stretched my legs after my jog to prevent/reduce the aching, but my muscles are still aching a bit. It's not really bad, but when I walk my legs go all stiff and it looks like i am marching lol. I'm serious my mom was asking why I was walking so weirdly and that it was ungraceful for a girl lol! Anyway when I climb the stairs my legs feel funny and I will start smiling or laughing to myself cos the sensation is a bit fuzzy and weird. Me go loco already.

Btw the sports shoes aren't even mine! I borrowed from my mom. Zzzzz

And yes i did not attend a WHOLE week of night class and have not been revising AT ALL. Okay I declare study week next week!

Exams OVER

Starting off this post with my face. Yes I miss myself too.

Sleeping soon already, I wanna catch up with my lost sleep for the past 3 months. Exams are over, and I am so damn relieved that this stressful period is over. Overall I have a 25% fear I will fail the papers but I'm gonna concentrate on the 75% confidence I have on passing. I think the best thing is that I really did my best during the examinations and that's all that matters.

I have so many things to update but well one at a time, especially since I'm more free now. But what I really wanna do is catch up with sisters, boyfriend, friends! I'll go shopping tomorrow with my sisters to spend the vouchers we redeemed from dad's credit card months ago. River Island Face Shop GV and etc here I come~

Oh yeah I wanna cut my hair and trim my brows too, look like a barbarian.

Also gonna work the kinect like crazy before Mr. Evian Water Bottle come back and collect zzz

Okay but the top list is to repair my face im gonna do mask now and sleep love you all and i'll update this space soon!

This Period

This time of the year often doesn't come easy. Stress to handle, deadlines to meet. Often than not they teach me strength and perseverance, with a tinge of regret. Regrets and Guilt are very good teachers.

I guess I should say that this period has been especially difficult to pass. External factors also made me reach breaking point so much faster. That's when you start to question yourself - your beliefs, what's right and wrong. Then you think about giving up. But then you think about fighting again. Ah.. the human paradox.

But in the nick of time I found myself again. I remembered to be grateful. That's all it took. I know that if I were in this exact position again i would choose the same strategy to solve this. And now I just feel a lot more braver.

I'm gonna sleep peacefully with this impending thunderstorm. What a closure.

To everyone who's going through a bad patch in your life:

You are better than you were yesterday. Have a little
faith.

Genting

A short post I presume? I'm heading to Genting in a about a few hours time, which means I only have about 4 hours of sleep before sitting on a 5-6 hour ride. I hope nothing bad happens god bless, and that I'll have fun. And then I come back and do the '临时抱佛脚' thing i do every year. Realised I have not much time left after I registered my exams yesterday. I thought I had everything planned out though, guess I was wrong. oh well time is just a factor. If I play my cards right nothing bad will happen, I hope.

I'll try to smuggle some gum back for my lovelies here, cos imma #goodfriend

Okay ciao. After that I'm gonna go ok a huge blog hiatus because I'm mugging. And prolly meet my friends less frequently cos im gonna cage myself in. I know right, here we go again.. and sorry guys.

Bye~ and I hope to finish the Mockingjay book on the way back.

Turning 21

Im turning 21.... in about 2 hours.

I dont know what to feel really, or what to say. But I felt a need to sit and blog about it.

What was I expecting really? There's not gonna be a difference between 11.59pm to 12am.. right?

Except the fact that Im 21? Im so ironic..

Anyway, now that Im turning 21, which is a symbol to adulthood ( i guess), I hope to see things... a little bit more clearer. Not literally duh, but i want to be more focused, or to able to see clearer for my future. That way I can find out what I truly want and go for it.

Now, I feel like I am focused in terms of my education, but i dont exactly feel sure or know what I want or where I should be in the future. I feel like im just in the midst of everything that is about to come later. Yes I am confused too. Things make sense now.. but not exactly.

I don't like this feeling although I must admit it is easy to sink into something like that. Call it a limbo, perhaps? It's like a feeling of nothingness. I want to do something about it. I wanna make plans.. get busy, plan for this future that everyone seems to already be there. But aren't I getting ready for future right now? So at the end of the day... where am I exactly?

I look at the people around me and sometimes I think to myself 'What am I doing now?' but then what shouldn't I be doing that I am already doing now? I wanna work as hard as they are, to fight for something. A goal, a future. To have that spark which ignites you to do all that. I feel that my fire's dying..

Maybe these are all symptoms of being unproductive. Haven't exactly been quite keen on what I am supposed to do. But my self-discipline in me is gonna get cracking soon. Im gonna start what I should have been doing next week.. after Im done celebrating tomorrow.

Or maybe this is the feeling you get when you are not motivated. Ah I hate it.

I guess it's something I must find out for myself. Not even the fact that you are growing older can do something about it. And I think I like it that way.

Five minute post

I think im really gonna be REALLY busy this whole month. And I see changes coming. I hope they are nice and they like me. I hope everything goes well the way it should. And if it doesn't I hope I learn something from it. Hopefully things remain good as they are.

Happy Valentines' Day :) <3

吃喝玩乐 Eric's 21st (Edited)

Food was great and it looked very appetizing too! Almost all were made my Eric's family and I was impressed :)

We had fun chilling in his room, chatting and laughing away with Vincent and Farhana, playing Scramble with Friends and having balloon wars!

Eric and I. I'm on the second row extreme left with my eyes closed, and Eric is on the extreme left, pouting. We were only.. 5 years old? Now we are on our twenties now. Woahhhhh time sure flies..

 

Some of us eating cake and pigging out in his room 

                                       Eric!

                                       Joey. He's a day younger than me!

                               Benson. Check out Candy photobombing at the back!

                               Sunny!

                                      Weishan

                                 Christina

                                         Wei Xiang

      Bella. One of the most demure dog I've ever met. It almost behaves like a cat and she is so cute and shy!

                                  With Birthday Boy again~

 His classic expression throughout secondary school~

 LOL that's classic photobomb

Anddddd... I hope he liked his Armani Exchange belt!

I'm still thinking whether to open a chalet at NSRCC! The place is nice but I still dont really have confidence that people will attend.. I have no idea what's wrong with me, maybe because I don't really have much friends.. but I would prefer a small gathering though. Ah I am boggled. Asked a couple of people but keep getting mixed reviews so yeah..

Problem above solved. You will get to know soon!

Anyway both me and sis got our results~ I passed and I totally screamed when my sis passed because she was expecting a fail and was dreading to know the results but I told her to open it! So im feeling totally exhilarated now.

Maybe I'll just take advantage of this adrenaline rush and just book it! GAH I DONNO

Okay I'm gonna go do my work. Yes I passed and Im happy, but I think I can do a lot better. Byeeeeee