I seem to have an issue with March, nothing seems to go the way that it's supposed to be. I feel like I'm losing my touch, all the things that I used or seem to be at least good at, seems so increasingly difficult for me now. Am I at the brink of my breaking point? Holidays are here and I'm supposed to be at least enjoying myself? But i spent most of my days feeling so heavy, with all the ongoing stuff occurring each day... is this what you call being lost and stuck?
I seemed extra burdened by this holiday, like I'm supposed to do something but i feel so restless, so tired and too demoralized to do anything. I see all my friends being surrounded by doing what they love with so much passion, but i feel like a loser sitting at home and doing nothing, mourning over regrets and occupied with my thoughts that just seem to go nowhere. Before i know it, night has fallen and everything starts all over again, like a rewind tape.
how is that i wanna do everything yet nothing at the same time?
ever since this happened, I just found it difficult to talk to you. i hope it's just a phase because i hate it. i get irritated when i talk to you and it pains me because i don't like it at all, but i hate the 'interrogation' at the same time, as if im responsible for everything that goes wrong and im supposed to answer to you.
so amidst all this mess, im supposed to cross my 20 year old age line with this huge pile of excess baggage? how am i even supposed to feel glad about it? i feel like being 20 means approaching at a crossroad. what you do next is seriously gonna determine how the rest of your life will turn out. everyone seems to have a destination or a plan in mind, but i have nothing.
Regrets.. everyone has a few, but i just don't want mine to haunt me.
PS: ARGH I HOPE IT'S PMS IT BETTER BE
