ROAR! I am here to rant! There is suddenly a stomach full of things that I want to say, things that I always dont want to mention about. So here goes, be geared up and get ready to swallow this blog post!
Sometimes I feel that my blog posts are so superficial, so 肤浅. Words are just words, there are simply no feelings, simply no meaning put into it. Sometimes I even thought of closing this blog down, it's like a shell, a blog just for people to see, everyone except me.
I don't know why I suddenly realised I feel this way, isn't this weird..
I guess I always restricted the way I blogged, especially how I feel because I mind what others think, what others would always talk about behind me. When I look back onto my blog posts, it always looks so.. preppy. So happy and even bimbotic. I don't know lah, but people are not always happy you know. I suddenly hate my blog posts because it seems to reflect that I have a very fake personality? Seriously, I really don't know, don't know what I want to achieve or do about after typing all this. What happened to freedom of speech?
However, I would sometimes type out how I feel, but I would either delete it soon after. I guess it's because I don't like being questioned on what I blogged about. It feels like.. people are actually mocking at me, mocking at my feelings that are spilled onto this little blog, actually questioning at what I am doing. I actually GIVE IN to peer pressure.
I don't know, but part of me don't really like to talk about my feelings, even though I talk about them a constant lot to my friends. Ironic? I think that way too.
Suddenly, I realised that people's opinion don't matter. They don't understand - it's okay. I blog because I hoped that I would read ALL my archives when I am older and reflect on my teenage life. Having such a superficial blog really defeats the purpose, doesn't it?
Call me over-sensitive, thinking too much, whatever. Don't really wanna care about what people are saying anymore. I have been doing that for so many years, I guess it's time to put a stop to it.
Some people might think if I am pinpointing at certain people by typing this blog post? All I can answer is, if you think I am talking about you, maybe it's really you. (Okay why am I caring what people think now? LOL)
I am going to try to blog with a new way from now on. At least, I hope so.
Hmm, then again, am I going to suddenly go back on my word and delete this post?
I wonder.
I think my laksa did this to me.
Wow it feels great pouring out everything. No wonder people likes to blog. They actually feel better! Okay I think I am actually a bit hungry.
PS: I know I am not good with words, I actually feel retarded after typing all this.
